WFMW - The Game Keeper

So I'm a week late with the parenting advice, but it's worth the wait, trust me...

Several months ago, we were having a problem with my 11-year-old son feeling like the sole proprietor of the video game system. You see, he's nearly 5 and 7 years older than his sisters, and he's all boy. He loves to play video games, and fancies himself a champion at each and every one. (Can you say "superiority complex"?!) He begs his Dad to play with him (for male bonding), but woe to the little sister who pleads to play with her big brother. NOT what he had in mind!


No matter how much I explained that she just wants to spend time with him, or forced him to let her play, or grounded him from video games, or sent him to his room, his attitude never changed willingly, and he was always so ugly to her about it too. So, she basically had no power when it comes to the video games. Zilch. And it hurt her feelings that her big brother didn't want to play with her.


Something had to change around here, or I was going to lose my ever-lovin' marbles. One day, something just came out of my mouth, and his reaction made me realize I had hit the nail on the head. We were arguing about him letting his sister play with him (again), and I said, "What if you had to ask HER for permission to play video games? Maybe I should make Kirstyn the Game Keeper." His head whipped around, his eyes bulged, and he immediately said, "What?! You can't do that!!" My reply was calm and firm. "Oh yes, son, I just did." He was NOT happy, and wanted to clarify the terms: "How long? The whole weekend?" But I was thinking I wanted a more permanent result this time (meaning I didn't want things to go back to the way they were once I lifted the policy), so I said, "Until further notice. Kirstyn is the GameKeeper until I think you've learned your lesson."


I must admit it was a lucky flash of parenting brilliance that made me come up with this idea, but it has most definitely worked for me. I made Nathon ask his sister for permission to play video games for about a month. He resisted for a while, but every time he would ask me, I would refer him to the GameKeeper. Seeing that twinkle in her eye when she heard that title made it all worth doing. I don't think she ever abused her power at all; in fact, I don't think she rejected any of his requests. There were a few times that she said, "Yes, you can play - if I can play with you." And since we've gone back to the traditional structure of asking parents' permission to play video games, the sibling conflict has been minimal. I think he's found that his sister isn't such an awful opponent (or teammate) after all.


PS - A couple more video game rules we've implemented at our house:

1. Absolutely NO video games Monday thru Friday during the school year. (We homeschool, and he was rushing through his lessons carelessly to finish early and play.)


2. This summer, in order to keep the TV viewing and video gaming to a reasonable level, we started having Nathon keep track of his reading time. Each minute of reading time logged in his notebook translates to a minute of "screen time" - and he can choose to watch something on TV, or play video games. When his time is up, he has to go read some more. We'll probably keep this going during the school year too.


3. We also "invested" in a few video games that are more appropriate (in theme & skill level) for the younger girls to play, but still fun for the older boy (and parents!)

Now head back over to Rocks in my Dryer for more great tips!